Happy Birthday little guy, today you would be 5!
There are so many special moments I have with you, but the one that keeps popping in my mind today is our Mommy and Tate dance parties. After we would get Lexi and Hunter off to school I used to take you home and turn the music up way loud, so we could sing and dance together. I would hold you tight and spin you around and you would giggle and try to scream the words to the music. My favorite song to put on was “Just the Way You Are” by Bruno Mars, you loved this one too because of it’s awesome beat. I would sing to you and change all the “she’s” to “he’s” and all the “girl’s” to “boy’s”….”When I see your face, there’s not a thing that I would change. Because you’re amazing just the way you are! And when you smile, the whole world stops and stares for awhile, because boy you’re amazing just the way you are.” Sometimes in the middle of all our crazy singing and dancing I would get tears in my eyes, because more than anything I just wanted to make sure you knew how amazing you were. As your Mom I was ready to be a fierce Mama Bear and fight the world’s version of the “perfect” or “normal” kid, and show everyone that my little guy was amazing just the way he was! And you know what? To me you were absolutely PERFECT here on earth, so I can’t even imagine how incredible you must be now.
Tate, I hope you know that Mommy, Daddy, Lexi and Hunter loved you just the way you were here on earth and that to us you were already perfect! We long to hold you in our arms again. We are thankful for the little miracles we get to experience because you are ours. When you were born we all thought we were going to be your protectors in life…turns out we had it all wrong and you turned into our guardian angel. How lucky are we?
I can picture you running around playing football in the backyard with Hunter and all his buddies. We tell those boys all the time that they would have loved you! I wonder about what your favorite football team would be and if you would love soccer as much as your Daddy. Whenever Lexi wants to put a show on for us I picture you being the first one to sit down and waiting until the very end to clap for her and scream “Yay”. I watch Ali run around the house and listen to her jabbering and can’t help but think she is probably talking to her big brother. I picture you riding on your Daddy’s shoulders in your little BYU jersey while we walk to Lavell Edwards Stadium for the BYU games. And I can’t even imagine how crazy and loud our dance parties would be now!
I don’t know how we are lucky enough to be your family, but we are so grateful! Your Daddy and I love you so much, we are so proud of the amazing boy you are. You are such a special part of our family and make us all try harder to be better and braver everyday.
The friends we had when you were here miss you and all our new friends wish that they had known you. We loved celebrating you last night with so many people that love you. Celebrating your 5th birthday at a cemetery was not the party I would have planned for you, but Heavenly Father had other plans and must have you working on something big. Just know that someday we will have another one of our awesome dance parties! I love you just the way you are handsome boy! Xoxo!